Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the day with your family and friends. Don't forget to give thanks for our servicemen and women who cannot enjoy a holiday at home.

Life As A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, 
new to the coop,
My big brother Mike 
took me out on the stoop;

Then he sat me down, 
and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was 
something that I had to know.

His look and his tone 
I will always remember,
When he told me of the 
horrors of ... Black November;

"Come about August, 
now listen to me,
Each day you'll get 
six meals instead of just three."
"And soon you'll be thick, 
where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery 
thing under your chin;

And then one morning, when 
you're warm in your bed,
In will burst the farmer's wife, 
and hack off your head."

"Then she'll pluck out your 
feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides 
and leave ya lyin' in the sink;

And then comes the worst part," 
he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and 
pack your rear with stuffing!"

Well, the rest of his words 
were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like 
a winged piece of meat;

I decided on the spot that 
to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low 
and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet 
of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads,
juice and diet cola;

And as they ate pastries,
chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room 
doing exercise tapes. 
I maintained my weight 
of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when
the bigger birds laughed;

But 'twas I who was laughing, 
under my breath,
As they chomped and they 
chewed, ever closer to death. 
And sure enough when
Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left
in the entire compound!

So now I'm a pet in 
the farmer's wife's lap,
I haven't a worry, 
so I eat and I nap. 
She held me today, 
while sewing and humming,

And smiled at me and said
"Christmas is coming ..."